If you constantly feel exhausted and drained after interacting with a certain person, it’s worth reflecting and analyzing. It may turn out that this person regularly feeds off your emotional energy — in other words, energy vampirism.

Here, it’s important to pay attention not to the person’s actions, but to your own feelings in their presence. If you regularly experience sudden energy loss, guilt, or a sense of obligation, or if you are suddenly overcome by an oppressive feeling of emptiness, this is a clear signal to consider whether an energy vampire has interacted with you again. Interestingly, ‘vampires’ almost never act out of malice. They are driven by their own immature emotions and their inability to cope with personal pain, which provokes them to unconsciously pour an avalanche of their experiences onto their interlocutors — but that is a slightly different story.

Very often, the ‘donors’ of such attention are not weaklings, as one might think, but rather strong personalities who have exaggerated their strengths. For example, their sense of responsibility can turn into hyper-responsibility, their empathy into a savior complex, and their tolerance into one of the most tragic qualities: a total inability to say ‘no’.

The ability to say ‘no’ is one of the most important qualities of any self-respecting person. In interpersonal relationships — any kind of communication, whether with friends or family — defending your personal boundaries is an essential skill. But don’t just blurt it out; act wisely, following a three-step response. First, show interest in the other person’s problem and express understanding or sympathy. Second, confidently say ‘no’. Third, soften your refusal by offering an alternative. In general, giving a quality refusal is a topic that deserves separate attention.

To conclude today’s topic, let’s look at a few rehabilitation steps to take immediately after contact with a ‘vampire.’ First, restore your physiology: regulate your breathing and, if possible, get some fresh air. Then stabilise your emotions by sorting out your feelings, either mentally or in writing. Finally, complete this unique rehabilitation process by restoring your energy — distract yourself from the problem and mentally focus on something pleasant.

Please note: if you have had only two or three unpleasant conversations with a certain person over a long period, this is not a reason to label your relationship as toxic or to call the other person a ‘vampire.’ It is extremely important to understand that only if, after every contact, you regularly feel the full range of emotions listed above should you consider analyzing the situation — and not just analyzing, but also taking action. How to do this will be discussed in following posts.