One thing you definitely shouldn’t do is second-guess other people — unless, of course, you are a professional telepath. And since I dare say not many of us are, it’s simply not worth fantasising about what others might be thinking about you. Whatever conclusions you come to will remain just that — guesses, not facts.

For example, your friend hasn’t replied to your message for, say, two whole hours. Believe me, there is no point in tormenting yourself during those two hours by imagining the worst possible scenarios: “He’s ignoring me on purpose,” “He’s offended by something I said,” “He doesn’t care about me at all,” and so on.

One of my relatives, for instance, used to delete her messages after 20–30 minutes if she didn’t receive an immediate reply. Can you imagine that? When I first asked her what the issue was, she couldn’t even explain it herself. Only later did we gradually figure out what was really going on — but that, as you can imagine, is a completely different story.

If a matter is truly important and serious, then instead of exhausting yourself with excessive anxiety, it is far better to gently but directly ask the other person a question. You might begin with something like: “Am I correct in understanding that…?” or “Do you mean that…?” In general, questions like these — whether written or spoken calmly — are useful not only in critical situations but also in everyday communication.

It is also helpful to allow other people the freedom to live their own lives, independent of you. Yes, their own lives — with ups and downs, mood swings, fatigue, and sometimes even apathy. And it’s worth noting that the vast majority of these reactions usually have nothing to do with you. Yes, you understood correctly: you are by no means the “centre of the universe” for others. And if that’s the case, then it’s clearly not worth taking their slightest mood changes personally, because quite literally, about 99% of other people’s behaviour is about them, not about us. And besides, we certainly have no need for delusions of grandeur, do we, dear friends?

It would also be useful to reflect on why we are so prone to overthinking. Could it be that we do this automatically because we find it difficult to tolerate uncertainty? What if we consciously chose to develop the ability to calmly endure not knowing? That sounds like a good idea, doesn’t it? So let’s begin. As a first step, let’s stop making assumptions about others. This will help us cultivate an important skill — remaining calm in a state of uncertainty and patiently waiting for the necessary information. And before you know it, the situation will usually clarify itself.

What else can be added? First of all, if another person truly has an issue or complaint with you, they will most likely be able to tell you about it. And, of course, a direct and honest conversation is always better than speculation or guesswork. Secondly, it is essential to trust yourself and remember that if something unexpected arises during such a conversation, you will be able to handle the truth — whatever it may be.